Real Voices, Real Change: Patrick McClintock on Why Checking In Really Matters

On the 10th October, World Mental Health Day encourages us to slow down and recognise the realities of mental wellbeing in everyday life. This year’s theme, “Lived Experiences Heard: Real Voices, Real Change,” set by the World Federation for Mental Health (WFMH), reminds us how powerful real stories can be in helping us understand one another and in creating space for honest conversations.

Today, we are grateful to Patrick McClintock for speaking so openly about his journey, and for the work he leads to help others feel seen, supported and able to talk about their mental health long before reaching crisis.

Tell us a little about yourself

I’m a final‑year medical student at Barts and The London, and I also hold a Master’s in Sports and Exercise Medicine from the University of Nottingham.

Alongside medicine, I founded Check In On A Mate (CIOAM) after losing two close friends, Olly and Honor, to suicide. What began as a very personal response to grief has grown into something much bigger. We now use sport, education and community to encourage people to talk about mental health earlier and more openly.

This summer, I ran 652 kilometres across Ireland in 14 days for CIOAM, raising more than £10,000 and trying to show just how powerful a simple conversation can be. I’m now part of the NHS Clinical Entrepreneur Programme, because I want to turn that momentum into something sustainable, something that can genuinely change the way people, particularly young men, engage with their mental health.

Can you share an experience that shaped your understanding of mental health, and how you navigated it?

Losing two close friends to suicide changed me completely. There is something incredibly difficult about looking back after someone has died and wondering what you missed. You replay conversations. You think about the moments where you could have asked another question. You wonder whether you could have done more. For me, it wasn’t one dramatic moment, it was the months afterwards. Grief, guilt, anger and a sense that something needed to change.

It also made me realise how good people can become at looking fine. Someone can be laughing with you, training with you, going to work, going out at the weekend, and still be struggling enormously underneath it all. That has probably shaped the way I look at mental health more than anything else.

At first, I probably coped the way a lot of people do: I kept busy. Medicine, training, sport and work gave me something to focus on. But over time I realised that staying busy and actually processing something are very different things. What helped most was talking. Talking to friends, talking about Olly and Honor, and being honest when things were difficult rather than always trying to be the person who had everything sorted.

Sport has also been hugely important for me. Running gives me space to think and process things properly. Eventually, creating Check In On A Mate gave some direction to everything I was feeling. It didn’t remove the grief, but it gave it purpose. It turned something that felt completely helpless into something where maybe we could stop another group of friends or another family having to go through the same thing.

What did this experience teach you, and how has it shaped the way you look after yourself and others?

It taught me that you genuinely cannot tell what someone is carrying just by looking at them. Some of the people who appear the happiest, strongest or most confident can be struggling the most. It also taught me that checking in doesn’t have to be complicated. You don’t need to be a doctor or a therapist to ask someone if they’re alright and actually mean it. Sometimes the most important thing you can do is stay in the conversation for another five minutes.

I’ve also learned that vulnerability is not weakness. I used to think strength meant dealing with things yourself and carrying on. I now think real strength is being able to tell someone when you’re not doing well and allowing somebody else to help you.

It changed me completely. I’m much more conscious now about checking in properly with people rather than assuming they’re fine. If one of my mates seems quieter than normal, disappears for a while or just doesn’t seem themselves, I’ll ask.

It’s also changed how I look after myself. I still push myself hard and I’m naturally someone who likes having a lot going on, but I’ve become better at recognising when I need to stop, talk to someone, sleep properly or just give myself some space. One of the biggest things I’ve learned is that mental health shouldn’t only be talked about when someone reaches crisis point. It should be completely normal to talk about it when life is going well too.

If someone was in a similar situation and feeling overwhelmed, what would you want them to know?

It’s going to be okay. Tell one person. That’s probably the biggest thing I would say. You don’t need the perfect words, and you don’t need to fully understand what you’re feeling before you speak to somebody. You can simply say, “I’m struggling at the moment, and I don’t really know what to do.” That is enough.

And if someone reaches out to you, don’t feel like you need to fix everything either. Sit with them. Listen. Ask another question. Stay close. Sometimes just knowing that someone is genuinely there can make an enormous difference.

The simplest thing often matters most: one more step. That became a huge part of Project Ireland for me. There were moments over those 652 kilometres when thinking about the finish line felt completely overwhelming. So I stopped thinking about the finish line. Just get to the next lamppost. The next kilometre. The next food stop. One more step.

Life can be similar. When everything feels enormous, bring the horizon closer. You don’t have to fix next month today. Sometimes you just need to get through the next hour, make the phone call, go outside, eat something, get some sleep, or tell somebody how you’re feeling. One more step.

Would you like to share how your current work supports mental health awareness?

Check In On A Mate has become a huge part of my life. We’re trying to make mental health conversations normal before people reach crisis. We deliver talks in schools and universities, support Mental Health First Aid and suicide‑prevention training, build student ambassador networks, and use sport and community events to reach people who might never engage with traditional mental health messaging.

Sport is a massive part of that. Running clubs, endurance challenges, boxing events and other community activities give people a reason to come together first, and the mental health conversation can then happen naturally around it.

Project Ireland was probably the clearest example of that. I ran 652 kilometres across Ireland in 14 days to raise awareness and money for CIOAM. Every day was dedicated to one message: we need to check in on the people around us.

I want CIOAM to become something that genuinely changes behaviour, not just another organisation that tells people mental health matters. I want somebody to see our message and actually text their mate, because that conversation could matter far more than they realise.

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